Just in case no one ever said "I am so sorry I was not the mother you needed, but I am here now and I love you." Here is something I wrote titled The Clumsy Mom...
I watched and listened to all of the perfect moms relate glory stories of their triumphs and victories as perfect moms. I need to apologize to you my daring, valuable, daughter for not being that kind of mother. I did not stand tall in my position as mother, the missed PTA, clinic appointments, needing a little help from the government, having to work on your birthday, and sometimes even on Christmas...I do apologize. I look back on all of the bake sales and the home made cookies, I am sorry that you had store bought (still in the box cookies) because I stayed up all night playing cards.
I apologize for hot dogs instead of baked chicken, for second hand clothes instead of name brand. I apologize for being emotionally unavailable because I didn't know how to deal with telling you about boys when I was still dealing with boys myself. I was clumsy and fell sometimes, so falling meant that sometimes there was no lights, no gas and no phone at times. I want you to know that I know better now, that I rarely stumble, rarely drop the ball and that as of today, right now I can wear my mom heels and Queen crown and not be clumsy! I stand in my reality, I let go of my past, I am regal in the place I stand now. Trust me, here is my hand young Queen take it and allow me to guide you. What harm could it do? You stood with me at my worse, you may as well stand with me at my best! Listen to me.
